Earning a degree. A house purchase. Starting a family. Adulthood can be a time of exciting and terrifying milestones. ADHD is sometimes the key to changing your perspective.
The challenges of executive function have a major impact on how we view and approach “adulting.” These challenges affect our ability to plan, prioritize, motivate, regulate, solve problems, and motivate others. EF issues often begin in childhood, but they continue into adulthood. This can cause big life events to be missed or delayed.
Lifenator readers tell us when they reach adulthood. Or if they’re still trying to understand what adulthood means. You can leave a comment on this link if you relate.
“I took six years longer to graduate than my peers due to missing or dropping classes, school transfers, and alcoholism. I married at 33.At the age of 40, I was fully Investigated for ADHD. Although I had stopped drinking by the time I turned 25, I still didn’t feel as if I was a grown-up until I received my ADHD diagnosis. After my ADHD diagnosis, I began to put my life in order and forgave myself when I did not do things “right” or on time. — Beth, Colorado
“I am 69 and feel that I’m behind my peers.” No matter how many intellectually demanding careers I have had, it doesn’t make a difference. These skills are useful, but I cannot perform executive functions. Paying bills or balancing your checkbook. It’s embarrassing. It’s embarrassing.
[Lifenator Directory – Find an ADHD specialist]
I would no longer be that person. It looks dull and not appealing. It’s great that I am old enough to no longer care about people’s thoughts. I get satisfaction from telling people I don’t care about reaching normal milestones. — Ally
“At 44, I am not an adult. The public sees a successful career woman with a loving spouse and a comfortable house. In reality, I can barely take care of myself. My husband is my lifeline. Without him, I could not remember to wash, eat, or clean. To have a career that looked normal, I had to stop having children. Katy, UK
“I was brought up in bad financial and social conditions but had a supportive and loving family. Since my parents were night workers, I have been “adulting” since middle school. In my 40s, I’m more aware of it. While my friends enjoy successful careers and having children, I still work the same job after 15 years. I have no children and cannot manage a two-person family with two dogs. I’m not professional. I do a job. — An Lifenator reader
At 43, I want to achieve adulthood. My idea of adult success is to be financially stable or not rely on my mother’s rent. Susan
[Read the ADHD Guide to Saving Money]
“I am 55 years old, and I’m still trying.” It could be due to comorbidities. I think that mothers find it difficult to stop comparing themselves. ” Moms are the only ones who see neurotypicals.” — An Lifenator reader
I am always surprised when people disappoint me. At almost 50, I still feel like a spaz, an awkward teenager regarding chores, money, and relationships. Lifenator author
It wasn’t until I reached my mid-30s, when I thought I had achieved adulthood, that I discovered I had ADHD. After I began medication management, I felt less anxiety and more self-confidence. — Kara
“I often wonder at the age of 59 that I am still engaged in ‘adult’ activities. I recently realized that I’ll probably feel like I am a child up until the day I die.
I was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 51. The diagnosis was a relief because I had always tried to live up to society’s expectations. This is a double-edged blade because I’m trying to view my daily actions from a new perspective. As I attempt to view my everyday actions from a new perspective, it’s like a two-edged blade. — Michelle
I am 60 years old and have married my husband for 25 years. I have two sons. I’m still working on it! “As a child, I was always socially behind but mentally ahead. In this regard, not much has changed. Julie
“I’m 52 years old and was examined by a doctor for any signs of cancer. Chronologically it feels as if I’m becoming a more mature adult. However, in reality, I still view the world with the (sometimes anxious and wonderful) eyes of a two-year-old. I had to learn to function on a very basic basis. I had to undergo much more therapy to improve the connection between my body and mind. In addition, I’m likely to be in perimenopause, which can impact women with ADHD. It is complicated but not impossible. I am proud of my unique perspective. — Jules (UK)